Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mini schmini




Yep, and here is how I try to fit in a mini dress. Why try? Well, you see, the modern manufacturers have this skinny chick in mind, the one that has no ass. And although I am a skinny chick and a usual size 0, unlike most of them I DO HAVE ASS. And a nice, juicy one at that. Not that fugly elephant rear that Kardashians like to flaunt. Yikes. Nope, mine is of higher breed, plump and tight.


So all the mini dresses I try on fit me fine in the bust and in the waist area... until we hit the bum. Then the problems start. What? 'Xcuse me? You have an ass? Really? Wait? Are you a woman? - Umm, yeah.. Last time I checked... Thus I am better off wearing jersey, knit dresses, of a stretchy fabric, that would accommodate my ass SANS CULOTTE, naturally. :) hehhehe.





The flowery black number is from Forever21 and the stretchy magenta number is from Urban Outfitters.



I saw it on their site, on sale for $20. Perfect, just as much as I have and I need a new dress to take with me to Brazil (I have this weird idee-fixe to wear at least one or two new items whenever I go on a trip, it just makes me feel more peculiar, more in a fantasy land-like, it's almost like it's me and it's not me and I can create myself, make myself be whatever want to be, tell whichever stories that come to my mind, etc... such Alice in Wonderland...)





Ass view s'il vous plait...




Yet, with tax (oh this goddam sales tax!! who invented it? can we tear his balls out of his crotch?!) and shipping it amounted to almost 29 bucks. No way Jose. I got in my car a day after and drove to the nearest store on Melrose.




Chances were slim, as Urban Outfitters are known for having hap-hazard stock in different locations, and I guess their model of sales does not allow them to keep track of what is available and what is not at any given shop. Basically I was gambling. But risk is noble. I won! It was the last item on their sales rack, size S (hallefreakingluja!), and guess what? At only 10 bucks!






I am a happy cookie.

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